TEDx - Inspired Post: Millenials, Life Crisis and Why Your Panic Attack Is Normal

Smartphone: Millenial Symbolism
(And yes, I do like pandas)

Dear Readers!
I apologise for my absence in the past two weeks. The truth is I had to prioritise writing my thesis above anything else, and so the posts on this blog started coming less frequently. From today, however, you can expect the revival of the Belgium & Netherlands series, but before, I just really wanted to share this with you, whether you are a millenial or a member of any other generation:

From: Kelly Williams Brown, TEDxSalem 

Millenials are really not so much different from any other generations' young people. And bad publicity is not helping them grow. In our contemporary world, it is very easy to cross off all young citizens as lazy, entitled and egocentric. However, you may be surprised to discover that the exact same things have been repeated on a regular basis in relation to different generations in twentieth century. Whining about young people seems to be a trend coming up each time a new generation is about to enter the workplace.

Personally, I agree with Kelly in that you cannot judge a whole generation by a research conducted on a group of 18-year olds. My own expectations of how the work would look and feel like have changed dramatically within last three months, that is, since I finished my university. I've realised that some of my previous assumptions have been wrong and I can only guess that people who did not have any previous work experience can be even more confused.

Firstly, I know now that taking my time before starting the process of applying for jobs was not the wisest choice. Before in my life, all things seemed to go more or less smoothly, there was of course a space left for spontaneity, but there was always a sense of continuation. We all know it from school - after primary comes secondary, after secondary comes high school or college (it really depends on the country), then you go to university, you do your undergraduate, perhaps even your MA, unless you decide to firstly take a gap year and work as travel photographer in South Asia... and then, you just get a job and work your way up the career ladder, so that in a couple of years time you will achieve success - whether as a company employee or with your own start-up.

In reality, the transition from university to the workplace is not always so smooth. For many, the same transition coincides with other big life-changing choices, such as moving out to a new city (in my case from cosy Canterbury to this dynamic giant called London), searching for a new house (wait, I need a job first and I don't have a financial guarantor!), figuring out how to transport your boxes from one part of country to another (which makes me wonder why have I not thought about it before and how on earth have I managed to collect 7 boxes full of things within last four years). Add to it being an immigrant in the peak time of Brexit and you have a recipy for a summer life crisis.

But life crisis does not necessarily need to be all bad, right? Okay, I admit, it can be pretty bad if it leads you to depression. And the post-university depression is a real thing - just check the articles on Internet:

https://instant-impact.com/students/the-reality-of-life-after-university/ "The reality of life after university" by Instant Impact.

https://www.independent.co.uk/student/student-life/health/graduate-blues-why-we-need-to-talk-about-post-university-depression-8729522.html "Graduate Blues: Why We Need to Talk About Post-University Depression" by The Independent.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/worklife/campus/a22575047/post-university-depression/ "Why is no one talking about post-university depression?" by Dusty Baxter-Wright and Mollie Davies for UK Cosmopolitan.

http://www.inspiringinterns.com/blog/2017/06/graduate-blues-how-to-deal-with-post-university-depression/ "Graduate Blues: How to Deal with Post-University Depression" by Rebecca Miller.

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/tilly-grove/graduation-blues_b_7125440.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer_us=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvLnVrLw&guce_referrer_cs=gPyijllcMkqUvEc_G-x24A "The Post-Graduate Blues and How to Fight Them" by Tilly Grove for Huffington Post.

And slightly more optimistic:

https://www.theguardian.com/careers/how-i-beat-the-graduate-blues "Graduate View: How I beat the graduate blues and shifted my mindset" by Venetia Rainey for The Guardian.

TIME FOR PERSONAL STORY:

At university, I pretty much felt like I aced. I moved abroad, found a nice house, went to all my classes, became a committe member for a sport club, engaged in a lot of activities, wrote film reviews for a website, did internship at creative agency, did part time job as event manager for two years, graduated with first class, did my MA, again, getting all the high marks. Then the summer came.

In total I must have done about five hundred of applications, wrote at least one hundred of tailored cover letters, was reached by various recruiters on my phone (some of whom I never heard back from after a couple of promising calls), did personality tests, intelligence tests, even mathematics ones (have I mentioned my degree was in Film and Art?).

I went to the first interview after a week of applying, very early in July, feeling really confident and prepared. I made an impression, learnt all I could about the company and market but was not chosen as the agency felt like I want more creative freedom than they can offer. Second time, I was dissmissed as overqualified. Third and fourth time, my experience did not match the exact expectations of the company. Fifth time, I got an offer but rejected it as the job turned out to be based on commissions only and I wanted safety.

I started from applying for creative agencies and event manager positions, now I apply for everything I can possibly tie up to my own experience, including gallery porters and Polish-speaking secretaries... It seems I cannot even use my own native language as a selling point. What a bummer!

In the meantime, I try to get a temporary part-time job at local cafes or a Polish nanny, only to be once again labelled as overqualified and simultaneously underexperienced, as I do not have years of similar work to back me up. When I look at my life within last two months I can clearly see a downfall tendency and I begin to panic. As always when I am really anxious, I start suffering from insomnia and I miss my family home. And then other things start to fall down too: Santander bikes accidentally eat my money, I break a lamp, I need to fight for getting my deposit back because my last landlord did not like the fact the grass grew after I moved out and decided to charge me for it. It seems he is surprised I argue my case and show him pictures of the garden taken just before my tenancy legally finished. (Apparently squeezing students like lemons at the end of tenancy is a normal custom. Thankfully, the argument that I did not ask for deduction of rent during a month my ceiling literally collapsed above me due to water leakage seemed to melt his heart a bit.) Man, isn't this whole "becoming an adult" process difficult?

OKAY, DONE WITH WHINING.

It is easy to start feeling a bit blue when one's efforts are not bringing any effects. "Am I not smart enough? But how is this possible, I always aced at all exams!" - you may think to yourself. "Am I not presenting myself well? Am I being too eager? Are they afraid of me? Do I ask too many questions? Is it my accent? My hair? Am I a complete life failure? Why is my dog thousands of miles away when I need a hug?". At the same time, you may hear all the great news from your friends who got their high-paid jobs straight away and are thinking only of how to progress their career even quicker, while you sit at the desk sending another round of unanswered emails. You may ask yourself "Is it because I did Film&Art? Would I be now employed if I did economics or law?". The cases of people around you seem to reinforce this.

But no, my anonymous friend, it's not all your fault. Of course, I encourage you to always come prepared to all interviews, take advice of more experiences people in the field, work on how you present yourself and on how you write your CV or cover letters. But often, it is just what it is.

These companies get lots of applications. London is a big city after all, with a population above 8 millions. And yes, perhaps it is your accent. Or your hair. Or somebody else had more experience. The thing is dwelling on these details is a dangerous game. It can lower your confidence and lead to further delays in getting this dream job. It can also, as in my case, lower your expectations and make you apply for jobs that you are not really that passionate about (Hey, maybe it will turn out they won't suck as much!).

The important thing is to treat all these experiences as an opportunity to learn. Also, just that somebody else got their job straightly out of uni gates, does not mean this is what happens to everybody. And in no way is this an indicator of your value, your brains or your employability. Trust me, you are employable unless you tell yourself you're not.

One thing I like about being here, in London, instead of my family house, is that the environment and circumstances force me to act. I simply cannot stay idle because the roof above my head is at stake. I have to get out of my comfort zone. It would be much easier to stay lazy. It would be much more convenient to just rely on my parents. But in opposite to what general public may think of millenials, that's not what we really want. We, just like young people of all generations throughout the history, have our dreams, our plans. We do want to succeed. And take it from a millenial - I certainly will.

Because success is not only what people see. Success is also what's inside of you - your attitude, all the hard work and sacrifices you put into progressing, all these moments when you had to try something new, all the applications and panic attacks, all the times you got a rejection email and decided to not give up. (Sounds delightful, doesn't it?)

If you want your life to be meaningful, then give it a meaning. Don't just sit around and wait for your life to change. You are the only one who can bring this change. Think up of a meaning of your each single day. Try to find something fun or inspiring in even the simplest of things.

If you could sit through a biochemistry class in high school (or any class you personally did not enjoy too much), you can certainly find something fun, interesting or creative in all other things you do. In the meantime, just give it your best and do not forget about your mental health. Take a relaxing bath from time to time, read books you enjoy, drink your favourite tea or coffee, write, draw, dance, create, go out to meet your friends, travel, meditate, stretch, listen to the music that lifts you up, look at Pinterest pictures of this cosy fireplace or this cute dog in autumn leaves. By now I probably risk sounding cheesy but just remember, it's important to make a living, but even more important to make a life. One is not always dependant on the other.

All always full of hope.

Yours,

-A.